And as I am contemplating the above questions, a second pigeon walks out of the same cupboard, flies to the same window ledge, gives me the same look, and flies out of the window.
So I went into the kitchen at my hostel the other day to make myself something to eat (and by make I obviously mean heat up ready made meals – Who cooks in hostels?) As I opened the fridge I saw the cupboard door under the sink open slightly, and a pigeon casually walk out. Just casually, like it’s just done this before. Then it flew up and sat on the window ledge and looked back at me, and I swear it gave me a What-The-Hell-You-Looking-At? look and flew out. I kind of just stood there, a bit shocked at what just happened. There was a couple of things that I didn’t understand
a) Why is there a pigeon in the kitchen?
b) How did the pigeon get in the cupboard?
c) How did the pigeon open the cupboard door and
d) Have I lost my mind?
I stood there for about 5 minutes, with the fridge door open. It was such a surreal thing to happen in a kitchen. I looked around to see if there was anyone else around to concrete what I had just seen. But no, I was all alone. No-one will be able to vouch at what I had just seen. I must be going crazy. So I went back to my room, got into bed and watched some TV – the best way to deal with whatever just happened was to watch some fabulous-ness. RuPaul’s Drag Race.
I had never heard about this show until a few weeks back, where someone described it to me as;
“It’s America’s Next Top Model cross with Project Runway…With drag queens!”
I was sold! So obviously I have to binge watch all of it . I am now up to season 4. I think I have done quite well. I just want to apologise to everyone that I have had to meet up with over the last week, I have been late every single time because I was like “I can totally fit in another episode!” No Robert, no you cant. It’s like heroin. “Just one more, then I’ll stop!”
On top of being late to everything, I have also become a very sassy fuck. I actually answered the phone the other day with
“Oh hey Guuuurrllll! How you doin’ Mami?” and I’ve started describing everything as “Fierce”
I have never spoken like that in my life. You see, my problem is that when I binge watch something, I become it. In my head I become an additional character in that show, that becomes my life. When I binge watch Friends. I am the 7th friend and they love me.
Now this is normally okay, because it doesn’t interfere with my ACTUAL life, well most of the time. This time I am worried as I have a job interview tomorrow and I don’t think the interviewers will be impressed if I describe my public speaking abilities as “Fierce Gurl, you know what I’m sayin’?”
In my interview, I also have to do a 5 minute presentation. I have had a while to prepare this, but RuPaul always came first. Until yesterday, when I gave myself a 2 day Netflix ban just so I can finish it. Needless to say, I have finished season 3 of RuPaul’s Drag Race, the presentation…not so much. But that’s okay, because I always do my best work under pressure. That is probably the only thing that I have learnt in my 3 and a half year degree.
So it is the night before my interview. I have an un-finished presentation in my lap… And I decide to write a blog post instead.
I am the queen of procrastination.